Congratulations on the new addition to your family! Going from a couple to a family of three or more is an exciting thing. But with the new addition or additions comes a hectic schedule, changes in routine, and sleepless nights. Because of this, it’s normal for your intimacy patterns to suffer. While you or your partner are likely still healing after childbirth, there are ways to slowly get your sex life back on track after having a baby. If you’re ready to explore sex again after having a family, read on for tips on starting.
Taking It Slow
It can be hard to know how to feel sexy again after having your first child. From natural changes to your body to be out of practice, many couples experience uncertainty around how and when to get back to the bedroom after having a baby. With hormones out of whack, insecurities about stretch marks, and being unhappy with the postpartum body, it’s easy to understand why it might be difficult to return to intimacy again.
Try starting with an honest conversation with your partner. Let each other know what you’re worried about. It might be insecurities for the new mom, or whether or not her body will work the same way, vaginal pain, healing scars, and more might be concerned. For the dad, it could be not wanting to hurt her during intercourse or feeling unsure about how to make her feel better about her baby weight. Having an open conversation ahead of time about all of these things is a great way to get worries out of the way.
Making a Night of It
You’ve come a long way together. From making a baby to becoming parents, you deserve a night to yourselves to celebrate how far you’ve come. If you feel comfortable and have friends and family you trust, ask them to watch your newborn. Make plans to hit the liquor store or even go out for dancing. Consider ordering takeout or hit up your favorite restaurant.
For your night out together or even if you plan to spend it in, women who are struggling with confidence after having a baby can benefit from a little self-care. If you’re hoping to set the mood and want to feel good about the direction your intimacy is heading in, consider pulling that mom bun out and getting dressed up.
Even if it means new clothes or a trip to the day spa, think about ways you can make yourself feel sexier. Items like nail polish stickers, a new shade of lipstick, and even lingerie will all serve as great forms of healthy foreplay as you move back toward the bedroom. For men, you’ll want to do your part too. Pull out your best cologne or make her favorite cocktail and remind yourself why you’re together in the first place. After weeks or even months of exhaustion, it’s time to put that away and do your best to reconnect.
In the end, go into this new chapter of your lives like you did with parenting. Don’t expect things to be perfect or that there are even right or wrong answers to how you approach things. Be patient with each other, and you’ll find out soon enough that it’ll all come back naturally again. In the meantime, if you’re ready to get your sex life back on track, remember that the best way to go about it is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Please talk about your fears and hesitations, take it slow, and make a night of it. With your child asleep or with a friend or relative, you’ll want to be able to focus on each other without the worries of a crying infant. Take time to plan for your intimate reunion by dressing and planning for it too. In taking small steps back toward the bedroom, you’ll soon find that spark is back and maybe hotter than ever.